🔗 Share this article

One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?